Adopted? What to Consider Before Looking for Your Birth Parents

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Waiting to be matched with a child is emotionally taxing. Try to stay positive, and remind yourself of the end goal: a blended, loving, and joyful family. If you need support, see if a local organization offers adoption resources. You should also be aware that the birth father needs to be notified, which can add time to the process if he is not identified by the birth mother.

If a birth father steps forward at a later date, there is a chance that the adoption process may be postponed or even reversed. Keep in mind Indiana is an adoption-friendly state! This means it is less daunting to finalize an adoption in Indiana than in other states. While it normally takes more than six months to finalize, in Indiana — depending on circumstances — it can take as little as three to four months. This means you and your child can begin your new life together with certainty, and sooner, rather than later.

Some agencies are great and really do help and some are more interested in keeping you in your place of ignorance. The bottom line is you really cannot trust most of the professionals in adoption well meaning or not. Most states also have some kind of passive reunion registry as well. There are incredible people online who will help and how have great methods and information as well.

Remember that often much of the information that you think you know is wrong including:. You might have it easy and your biological family might have begun searching for you as well, so try the two best adoption reunion registries first! All non profit and run by volunteers, they have no ulterior motivation except to help all separated family members find each other. Lots of people have found others there, so it is good to keep updated, etc.

What Should I Ask My Birth Parents When I’ve Found Them? |

There are many many more adoption registries; you can just google them and go crazy or start with this list. For your own sanity, DO create a method of keeping track of where you have checked and where you have registered. I personally am huge fan of creating Excel spread sheets to quickly copy and paste urls and notes when researching anything online. You might also consider having a word document made with your basic info on it so you can just copy and past the required information over and over again. Adoption search angles are people who search for others lost through adoption because they are just incredible people who help others.

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Since they work on more than just one personal search, they tend to be really great researches and know how to find things! The majority of search angels I know are all on a volunteer basis. A professional adoption search angle is a miracle worker! Make sure you know what to expect form a Search Angles Help and how to best help them help you in an adoption Search!

Facebook, MySpace and even Twitter can be amazing tools for adoption searches. I have witness decade long adoption searches turn successful after mere days of a Facebook page made dedicated to the adoption search.

Connections Matter: Relationships with Birth Families are Important for Foster, Adopted Children

By opening up your search on social media you open yourself up to the many eyes and minds and Googling fingers.. Create a Facebook Search Party! DNA testing has literally blown up many adoption searches in the last few years. There are many folks who have searched for their family for decades with no luck at all and then, after DNA testing, they found family.

The other thing you will want to be doing at the same time is reading! Every situation is different, and an adoptee search and reunion can be a challenging and very emotional process. It is a personal decision, and although the search may have a happy ending, there are also situations that end in disappointment or without resolution. If you are an adoptee and considering searching for more information about your birth family, here are some steps you can take:. In the United States, there are laws protecting adoption records from the public once an adoption is finalized.

However, states have also created procedures to be able to release information about that adoption while still protecting all involved parties.

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States and agencies can release non-identifying on the adoptee, Adoptive Parents, and Birth Parents. The adoptee must be at least 18 years of age in some states, age 21 before he or she can gain access to this information, however an Adoptive Parent or guardian of an adoptee who is still a minor may be allowed access.

Some jurisdictions are more restrictive about the release of information from adoption records.

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Identifying Information is information from an adoption record that would generally lead to the positive identification of the Birth Parents or other birth relatives. It may include current and past names, addresses, employment, or other similar records or information. Laws in nearly all states allow the release of identifying information when the person whose information is sought has given their consent to the release.

As mentioned above, many states use a Mutual Consent registry. It is a way for individuals or parties directly involved in adoptions to indicate their willingness to have their identifying information released. Procedures vary from state to state, but most registries require consent of at least one Birth Parent and an adoptee over the age of 18 or 21, or of Adoptive Parents if the adoptee is a minor.

When an adoption is finalized, a new birth certificate for the adopted child is usually issued to the Adoptive Parents. The original birth certificate is then sealed and kept confidential by the State Registrar. In the past, nearly all states required an adoptee to obtain a court order to gain access to their original birth certificate. However, the laws have changed in many states allowing earlier access to these confidential records:. For more information and to find contact information for a state agency or department that assists with accessing adoption records, go to Child Welfare Information Gateway at the link below.

Most adults are very aware of their family history, and for the most part, have had the ability to ask for additional information as they grew up.

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However, this may not be the case for adult adoptees, who may have questions about everything surrounding their adoption — background, biological parents, extended family, medical history, and the circumstances surrounding their adoption. Placements were made in secret and Adoptive Parents were instructed not to tell the child that they were adopted.

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Even birth records and certificates were known to include misinformation in an effort to shield both the Birth and Adoptive Parents, as well as the adopted child. Over the years, society has changed, and adoption no longer carries the stigma and shame as it did nearly years ago. The argument for Closed Records continues is that it protects the right to privacy for Birth Parents.

Open Records with Restrictions is a compromise approach. Some information could be provided only through an intermediary, with parental permission and limited in its scope and time. As each state has its own regulations regarding adopting records, legislators, and adoption movement groups grapple with the pros and cons of open and closed adoptions.

For additional information regarding Open and Closed Records, please click on the following links:. States with Open Adoption Records.